So, a quick update, as I realise my updating hasn't been amazing recently.
I'm getting a skin graft on Friday. I was supposed to go in for surgery yesterday but there was some burns incident and it got rearranged. I spent that morning not drinking, not eating and denying myself any cigarettes and it was all a wasted effort! And that whole effort will start again tomorrow evening..
How did it happen? Well, the 'public' story is that my friend's lighter exploded and set fire to the glove I was wearing. The true story? I'm assuming it was self-inflicted. The problem is I have no idea how it happened. The problem with severe dissociation is you find that odd things, horrible things, and stupid things can happen and you have no clue about it until afterwards. The burns doctor said it looked like a lighter burn (hence where the lighter story came into it for when people ask and it's not appropriate to bring up the real reason). What I do know is that if I remembered doing it, there is no way I would've done anything this severely.
I've never had a general anaesthetic before and to be honest I'm scared shitless. My foster carers have tried to reassure me but it's not working. I don't give a damn about the potential dangers, like not waking up. What I'm worried about is the fact I'm going to be half-naked and unconscious, surrounded by half a dozen people I don't know. Now is not a great time as the voices I hear are being very problematic. I've also had to take time off of work (the job I've not even be able to start) and ring in saying that I can't come in because I need to go to hospital. I was due to go in today, tomorrow and Friday. I could've gone in today and tomorrow if I'd known my surgery was going to have to be moved.. Now I feel guilty that I've got time off for no reason. It's not my fault but that's beside the point..
Anyway, I'm hoping things will go alright. I need to get my Twitter up and running again. I've had to take a lot of breaks from the internet recently. :O Much love all. xoxo.