It definitely has been an interesting couple of weeks. I've been "close to manic" as my CPN puts it. I'm not manic, I'm a combination of manic and depressed. It's a weird thing. I'm real hyper but the thoughts racing around my head aren't happy and go-lucky, they're depressed and suicidal. Like I said, it's weird.

With all the energy I've got I haven't really done much beside bounce off my bedroom walls and spend money. The solution from my mental health team is just to up my dose of medication. Does that really work? A part of me knows I need to do this and keep taking tablets, but then another part of me wonders why I can't just be stable without poxy medication to take. 

I've seen a film called Ted advertised in the cinemas. The outreach worker who works for the fostering agency wants to go and see it. It's rated as a 15 so I'm one of the few who she can take. What a job she's got huh? She goes out and drinks coffee, watches films and spends time out with the foster children! Admittedly she's also got to do paperwork, but how cool is that? She doesn't even have to pay for any of it. "Receipt please, the foster agency will pay". Eheh. There's probably downsides to the job but y'anno, it's about as good as it can get.

I've got to go into respite on the 20th while my foster family go abroad to Egypt for a holiday. I'm not really a "going abroad" kind of person. Not only will it be too hot, but I don't want to run the risk of going loony while I'm there. Imagine what it would be like having some kind of mental health crisis in a foreign country? Plus, I hate planes; or as I call them "claustrophobic tubes of death that fly fifty thousand feet in the air". The last time I went on a plane was a twelve-hour flight to Mauritius seven years ago. Never again!

Okay, it's taken me nearly two days to write this post as I can't sit still and concentrate. I hope you appreciate all the effort I've put in here! ;) 

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