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"Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on." ~Alice Duer Miller

Has someone ever done something to you that is wrong or unforgivable? Sometimes forgiveness helps you overcome it. Forgiveness isn't about saying "Oh, what you did was fine, we'll let it go". Forgiveness is about acceptance and being able to move on rather than hold on to the past. Often, holding onto the past is our way of coping with things, but it gives you the option of bottling up all the unresolved anger. You don't want that option. As the quote said at the beginning of this post, genuine forgiveness isn't about denying the anger you feel against the person, it's about facing it head-on and dealing with it rather than trying to pretend it's not there; the elephant in the room as it were.

What about forgiveness towards yourself? Do you forgive your mistakes as quickly as you may be able to forgive other people's? I generally find that I forgive people's mistakes a lot more easily than I do my own; even if my mistake is ever so small. Maybe that's the perfectionist side of me talking, but even the slightest thing can send me into a rage about myself.

Ever tried to recover and you've relapsed? For instance, every time I binge I tell myself that it'll be the last time. It never is. When the next time eventually arises, I beat myself up about it. I'm not very forgiving. Relapses and mistakes happen. Don't let it get to you. Start over and promise yourself that you won't beat yourself up if you make the same mistake again. You may not learn the first time, or the second time, or even the third time.. or the tenth! But you will learn. Each time you relapse or make a mistake, it only makes you stronger, as long as you let it. 

Learn to forgive yourself. Treat yourself with kindness. Beating yourself up over small mistakes or relapses isn't going to help. You deserve to be forgiven and be given a fresh start and a clean slate. 

28/6/2012 01:20:35 am

Any tips as to how not to beat yourself up over those little slips? I need a little of your optimism these days!

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Keri
28/6/2012 03:22:07 am

Need to recognise that relapses and slips are a part of recovery! It took you a long time to get into your habits so it'll take a while to change them back again. Be nice to yourself, don't punish yourself, you don't deserve that :) If you need to chat if you slip up then I'm here. You can do it! ;D xoxo.

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