A lot of people have told me that I need to focus on the 'here and now'. I've tried this and I never am able to. I often experience flashbacks and nightmares of things I've been through in the past. It's hard to forget. It's something I will never forget. I know I need to 'put it in the past' but every time I do, it always rears it's ugly head into the present.
I'm currently in the middle of some suicidal thoughts (if anyone reads this, don't panic as I'm getting the right help and support) and have been told I need to focus as much as I can on the present. The problem is, my present situation is mainly based on things that have come back to haunt me from the past; for instance, the court case regarding the person who abused me. That's the present, but it's to do with the past.
I've also been told that my behaviour has manifested itself because of my past. How do you try to avoid the past when everything about your current situation is about things that have happened? I can't work through the past until I'm more stable mentally. But working on the now involves working on the past. It all sounds awfully complicated doesn't it?! I'm hoping some of you have some clue as to what I'm actually trying to say though.. eheh. :)
I'm currently in the middle of some suicidal thoughts (if anyone reads this, don't panic as I'm getting the right help and support) and have been told I need to focus as much as I can on the present. The problem is, my present situation is mainly based on things that have come back to haunt me from the past; for instance, the court case regarding the person who abused me. That's the present, but it's to do with the past.
I've also been told that my behaviour has manifested itself because of my past. How do you try to avoid the past when everything about your current situation is about things that have happened? I can't work through the past until I'm more stable mentally. But working on the now involves working on the past. It all sounds awfully complicated doesn't it?! I'm hoping some of you have some clue as to what I'm actually trying to say though.. eheh. :)
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